| If your relationship needs work and you have questions relationship counseling may be able to help. Before we get into all that though, take a minute and read this article. I will give you some tips on how to improve your relationship.
The first thing I can tell you is the two of you need to sit down together and talk. Make an appointment with each other if you have to and do it when you will both be home and can take an hour, or maybe two, with nothing else on your plate. Give each other your undivided attention so you can work everything out. Send the kids out with grandma and grandpa for the evening.
Start by making a pact that neither of you is allowed to get mad at what is presented at this meeting. Now, each of you list what you each think is good about your relationship and what things could use some work. Make this list as complete as possible but don't get caught up in the minutia. You do not have all night and need to try to get at least some of the questions relationship answered.
Beside each item on the list under the heading 'improvement needed', come up with ways to make each item listed better or go away all together. Be creative with your ideas, if you both end up laughing during this session so much the better.
Make a commitment to each other that you will both do everything you can to make your relationship a better one. This is the first step in relearning how to work together on your relationship and before you know it everyone concerned will be happier than they have been in a long time. Even your kids will notice a difference in how you are reacting to one another.
Get back to doing little things for each other again. When was the last time you wrote him a note and put it in his lunch or you told her she was the love of your life? It is just too bad that we all get complacent and stop doing the things that make relationships special when they were all brand new and we are just getting to know one another. If that love is still there, then there is hope for the two of you and your relationship.
If you do not already have one, choose one night of the week for a date night. Go to your favorite restaurant each week or make it a little more interesting and adventurous and choose a different place each week. It doesn't matter where you go just as long as you keep talking and keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
Along with these tips, it couldn't hurt to check into seeing a relationship counselor. Someone well versed in helping couples stay together by putting their relationship back together when it starts to crumble may help. Where there is love there is always hope. If there are issues that the two of you cannot work out by yourselves this is the best option to make things better. A good counselor will work with both of you, separately and together, to come up with ways to compromise that are acceptable to each of you.
If lack of communication is an issue in your relationship the counselor can show you better ways to communicate with each other and give you exercises to do at home so you can practice. No one is born knowing how to communicate effectively, you have to learn it. So do not feel bad by having to ask for help if your questions relationship need answered, feel good that your marriage will not become just another statistic. |